I’ve spent decades trying to manage my energy. One of the revelations was that energy can be divided into compartments of mental, physical, emotional and spiritual energy. Each element needs to be cherished and one of the ways to cherish it, is to measure its use. Feeling depleted is a sure sign that one of your energy tanks need some care.
One of our lovely Lifejoyers asked me to write something about managing the situations in life where energy is drained. I think what they really needed was permission to avoid the people who drain the life force from them so here it is: I hereby give you permission to take care of yourself in a kind and wise manner.
Here is a perspective on the dichotomy of being a generous soul and one who is giving too much to an insatiable demand. Please notice that I used the word demand, not need. Some people in our lives will need more of our energy than is fair, they might be unwell, under-resourced or grief-stricken. To those good and struggling souls, love them well and abundantly. Here are some thoughts about managing the rest of your interactions.
The 7 secrets to managing energy and interactions: don’t bury your head or energy in the sand! Christy has that one covered!
- Know yourself ~ Are your elements well balanced or is there one part that is less strong than the others? I have to manage my physical energy on an hourly basis and my emotional energy is easily depleted. This is something that empathetic and highly sensitive souls need to be careful about and act accordingly. Be aware that you are your own energy tank superintendent! Keep an eye on those levels! Know that the ultimate self-knowledge is to check that we are not being the draining person!
- Being the blessing ~ I love the ideal of reciprocation. Make sure that you set the tone and don’t whinge or seek pity. The first thing to manage in all our relationships is ourselves because we can set our own standards. If the other person doesn’t even bother to ask how you are, then that might be some evidence that you need to balance things up or withdraw gently.
- Awareness is a superpower ~ start to check how you feel after an interaction or activity. Do you feel better from it? Do you feel like you need a nap or worse still, do you feel dreadful? Your intuition is an asset so listen to it. It is always wise verge on the side of compassion rather than judgement and to realise that sometimes in our relationships we will need to give more when the other person is suffering. Perhaps it is all about seeking a level of balance and grace.
- Over-stimulations ~ be aware of your environment and the attacks it makes on your senses. Lots of light, noise and distractions might see your energy levels plummet without you even realising it. Build conducive environments into your daily life. Build in wise intake in terms of food, water, silence, movement, rest and joy!
- Step back graciously ~ your energy is precious and cannot be thrown about. You are your own manager and that needs to be done with magnanimous leadership. Be at peace because it is vital for you to take care of your own tanks. If you need to step back a little or a lot, that is fine. It might just be that you have slipped into patterns of over-giving and they can be rebalanced if you so desire.
- There are some souls who feel they need more and more from you. Set a limit in your mind and manage the relationship. If you can’t avoid it, then make a plan to cope with it and do something afterwards that makes you joyous. Maybe play happy music on the way to the event? Acknowledge that if you need to step back it can be done with goodness and not become a scene from a soap opera. Sometimes there are people who are negative, self-absorbed or just toxic and they need to be avoided. It took me years to accept that I couldn’t fix everything for everyone. It took such a toll on my health. Now I work hard to be constructive, kind and generous in all of my relationships but if you don’t ask how my Dad and husband are doing and never think to enquire about me or the pup, then it isn’t fair to eat up my energy and just do all the taking. I now no longer tolerate aggression, negativity, selfishness or self-pity. Neither should you.
- Perhaps most importantly, recognise and appreciate the heroic souls who look to contribute first and try to be one of them. It is perfectly alright to say YES PLEASE or NO THANK YOU in your own life. Take that permission and shine ever brighter with your precious people. I hope that helps.