How are your boundaries in your relationships? Are they present at all? kindly and flexible? Are they firm and fair? Or are they too constraining?

Understanding Boundaries

One of the most important things in life is to know yourself, to be aware of how you think and how your feelings affect the way you act. Being aware of boundaries might just be the first step towards having some. Most of my people, my clients and readers lack boundaries. I lack them which is why I have spent a long time researching and learning about them. If you’re tip top on the subject then well done, you can stop reading now, however I suspect that most gentle souls need some help with them. Recently, I’ve seen someone have the ability to say NO with breath-taking ease. It was almost shocking…and when I am shocked there is always more for me to learn. Maybe if I tightened up my boundaries, my energy might be a bit better.

Balancing Generosity and Self Care

Hence, finding a balance between being generous spirited and not being exhausted and asleep on a Saturday afternoon is something I should work at every week! Here are some things that might save your Saturday sleeps and help you build some respect from those who need to learn to take care of you just a bit.

  1. Boundaries are like speed limits in life. They are meant to keep everyone safe.
  2. They will be tested, so you need to be aware of that fact.
  3. When they are challenged, it is a chance to see how effective they are ~ not an attack or criticism (even if it feels like it!)
  4. They can be bendy for good people. Flexibility is a sign of good mental health. We can adapt for the greater good.
  5. They must not be bent or broken by bullies.
  6. Use lines like, “Thank you, I am not able to do that….but I can do….”
  7. Use lines like, “Thank you, I am not able to do that.”
  8. Be prepared to say, “That isn’t reasonable, how can we make it work?”
  9. Don’t berate yourself when a boundary feels broken. Learn from it. Be better next time. Head up.
  10. Boundaries are often needed more than ever when health is compromised or energy limited. Good people will support you. If there is consistent evidence of a lack of support, rethink the influence that that person has in your life.

Conclusions

Just think about when you feel comfortable and confident to voice your thoughts and needs. I suspect that this would be with the best of souls and boundaries weren’t even needed. Maybe they are needed more when someone is new in your life or when your energy is low. Like most things that are tricky in life, boundaries are best when thought about and built with a wise plan behind them. Great luck with yours my friend.

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